When a helicopter full of men with guns land on our private island, me and my guys do the only logical thing you can do.

Hide.

Naked and Afraid gets a whole new meaning for me. And it’s not a funny, laugh at the idiots on TV kinda deal. It’s a shivering WTF is happening awful feeling.

The bad guys head straight for Heather and her harem at the pool.

Time to panic. Time to call for—

These gangster jerk offs cut off our phone and internet somehow, so I can’t call for a rescue from some super-hot, suped-up ex-marines.

I’m just gonna have to rescue Heather and her guys the old-fashioned way … kicking ass and taking names.

This should go well.