Hey!

So, we're like friends now, right? Not like secret friends. But like friends who talk and post on Facebook for each other's birthdays and stuff, right? Mine's October 16. Because I totally just told you like tons of personal stuff. And it would be really embarrassing if you turned me down after that.

Ouch! Gah, the writer's poking me to tell you about real-life moments from the book.

Um, they are all true to my life. But apparently my life doesn't count. Because I'm a fictional character. What B.S. Hello? Did you not feel my fear when I thought I was going down for that Georgina thing? What's more real than that?

Apparently these things:

1. There was actually a first date at an Indian restaurant where the bathroom door was locked and dine and ditch looked like a possibility.
2. A version of Squirts.
3. There is a woman who's ditzy enough to only read coloring books. Yeah, it's mean. But I bet you know one too.

Ugh. And now, as if things aren't bad enough, she wants me to tell you that I write the emails for the reader group. WHAT? No. I refuse. I already have a new job. And apparently, it's harder to be a cop than an attorney because I have to go to the Academy and train.

B.S. I am not writing you any letters. (Totally writing you letters) FUDGING FRICK! She's taking over my fingers. Make this stop. 

Ignore this crazy bee and just tell me you love me. Leave a review. Because, like, how else am I gonna know? I only exist in words. So anything that's not written down technically doesn't exist for me.

Peace out-
Ly